I love you.. for sentimental reasons..

I love you.. for sentimental reasons..

Re-writing / Letting go of 5 (actually more like 8) years of memories is no mean feat. It’s almost like cutting out a huge chunk of your life. Not possible to erase I think. Can only attempt to bury it away in the deep recesses of my subconscious till its retrieval no longer hurts.

Anger is always the most immediate reaction tt surfaces after such loss. U wonder if all tt time together was just a waste, now that it has come to naught. But the other day, while reflecting on the past 5 years, I said something to a friend. The words only struck me when they actually rolled off my tongue.

"If I could go back in time, I'd still have chosen to go through the whole thing again."

Perhaps I'd have left a little earlier, instead of later. But those years had their wonderful moments. There was much joy, wonder and excitement. Even though there was also pain and a lot of frustration. Learnt much about friendship, love and most importantly, about myself.

I guess it's just one of those things we go through in life. Like a rite of passage. This thing about memories and love remind me of the movie Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Thought I'd actually mused abt this before...but can't seem to find the post which I'd written years ago. This movie was also significant to the beginnings of the relationship.

Anyway. It's late... and I'm just rambling. Off to bed. Shall try to post a few happy pics the next round.. of the dear pple who've been my source of comfort over the past few weeks. All the angels in disguise :)

Blessed

Blessed

3 things greeted me when I got to the office today:

1) A bottle of Absolut Vodka (to drown my sorrows?);
2) An envelope of sthg addressed to 2POE/IR (ooo... mysterious mysterious); and
3) An original composition (song) in my mailbox. Original ok. Dun play play.

Is this a gd day or wat! Other than the other arrows tt flew into my mailbox of cos. Heh. Ok la, i knew the bottle of Vodka was going to be there...cos we're having a party on fri.

But s/n 2 was a slab of really funky Earl Grey flavoured choc, accompanied by a really sweet note. From someone totally unexpected. I mean, I don't even recall telling him tt I liked tea! And I get chocolate that's flavoured with my absolute favourit-est one?! (I will post pics when I fig out how to download them from my phone) And s/n 3 was a totally unexpected gift. I mean, how often does one get original compositions from a friend just cos "no matter how we can rationalise the outcome of things, there will still be moments when the heart feels like it's breaking...".

And on top of all tt, today was badminton and guitar day! - in separate sessions of cos. I just couldn't stop smiling :D


I woke up this morning feeling kind of blue
and I stumbled out of bed
and dragged my feet across the room
Right outside my front door was a rose
and a note that said 'Somebody Loves You'

...You could be next to an Angel In Disguise

How much more apt could my choice of concert song be?

Waking Up My Idea

Waking Up My Idea

Memories are such powerful things. They can feel so real, and sometimes trick you into thinking that its part of reality. Or maybe, just cos it feels so real...u just cling onto it for dear life, in the hope that it will eventually become a reality.

And that's one of the reasons why it's so hard to let go. First of all realising that you're semi-delusional is already =_=. 自己骗自己...or, as sometimes we like to think, "他妈的!给别人骗了". But I think, it could also be true that 自己也情愿给他骗.

So... it's been ktv season recently.. and while I have been trying to avoid the overly emo songs... singing them at the top of my lungs can actually be quite cathartic. Here's one that I rediscovered by A-mei. Realised her early songs are all super emo one. Suits me just fine I guess. Heh.

It's emo time...

It's emo time...

As usual, considerate me is going to add a disclaimer, that the next few posts are gonna be rather... emo kind la. So duh, u can guess what's happening in my life now. Buzz off, if you'd rather just read happy stuff. (Altho if u need a laugh.. some of you might just find this funny. Hmm.. )


if u thought you could, 3 years ago and now you still don't know, u never
will.

in relationships, people make sacrifices, and i think I've given enough.
I've had enough.

i still stand by my belief that I always knew u were a selfish bastard. I
just refused to listen, that's all.

More epiphanies to come..woohoo

HP Blues...

HP Blues...

Been looking out for a new phone to buy since my current panasonic (prob the only one left using this brand too) is almost 4 yrs old.. and the batt is likely to die out in a few mths - already changed twice!

So anyway. Only used 2 phones in my entire life... and both were by Panasonic. And i quite like their designs/features etc. But I found out last yr tt they're no longer selling panasonic phones in S'pore cos the market ain't big enuff. As it turns out, I don't think they're selling it anywhere else except in Japan! (cos they only appear on the Jap website) So tempted to ask my fren to buy for me when she goes there later this year! But not sure whether they can be used in S'pore or not... and whether it's really as chio as it is in the pic.


Ok, maybe this pic not so nice. How abt this one?



It's supposed to be only 9.8mm.. which makes it super slim, but not sure whether flimsy or what. Sigh. There are so many others which look v chio leh. Gaah! I want a Panasonic phone!!

Was looking on the Singtel website for other chio phones also. Refuse to get the iphone cos it's nabeh expensive, even for the old one. Phones nowadays so complicated, all the apps and all - which is quite a contradiction for me la.. cos I'd really just be happy with a phone tt cld call, sms and take photo. Enuff liao. but then nowadays cos all those dunno what apps and stuff.. so I also feel like jumping on the bandwagon of getting one with all the features. But then... it's not like I am intending to get a data plan. =_= Super 矛盾 can!