It's been a rather busy week... the bday itself was gd. Not fantastic but gd. There was sufficient happiness. But I think the after effects were better. Cos I now have 2 new spec-ky accessories! haha... as 小红 puts it... super 高调 (not sure whether character is correct) white specs! kekeke. Now I is really funky aunty liao! :p

Then the concert was relatively good. Am still trying to get some honest feedback. It appears tt either everybody is too polite, or too scared of me! haha. And apparently someone thought I had a "killer cute smile" lor. woohoo! Have I got it made or wat? On my way to being a rock star!!!

Ahem. Ok, now that I've got tt out of my system... back to the post.

Dun have much time to blog or put up pics this week... hopefully when I come back I will do it la. Am off to Perth from Sat till next wed. Super looking forward sia! Dun miss me ya' all!

祝我生日快乐

祝我生日快乐

When I first heard this song..maybe 1 or 2 yrs ago, I thought it was beautiful. Not sure whether it was the words, or the way it was sung. This year, the lyrics seem to be rather apt for me. Ok.. I'm indulging my emo side again. But it's my bday k! So...it's my party and I'll cry if I want to, cry if I want to, cry if I want to...

Haha ok la. Actually I wldn't say like this year is exceptionally sian 1/2 or wat la. Cos... the only gd bdays were during the 1st 2 yrs of our r/s. After tt, I had gd bdays too. But they didn't really have much to do with you. I made sure i wouldn't be disappointed, so I more or less planned my own stuff. Shiok Sendiri can. So anyway, here's the song. The singer is chio too :D



For those of you non-cheena pple.. here's a version with some english translation - not entirely accurate though, but at least u get an idea.

For sthg not so emo (I guess). Here's a song by Joanna Dong. It was the only good thing abt watching Blood Ties (of which I was kinda forced to watch. Twas a ~!@#$% semi-horror cum rather CMI thriller tt made me want to kill the person who bought the tix)

Recognised her voice almost immed when I heard it. 真的很美美 :)



And in other news, I went into JB for the first time in donkey's years tonight. Had a rather interesting dinner. New things to learn everyday. And I really shld count my blessings :)

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

Also known as "The Ranting, The Raving and the Giving Thanks" (In no related order of cos)

So.. my rant/rave for today:

Some guys just cannot make it!!! Just waiting to kena slap by me only. ~!@#$%^& I just cannot understand what the eff they are thinking! Stop wasting my time! ~!@#$%^&

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

But then I realised, that in the midst of my extreme irritation with some pple, I'd forgotten the angels that God sent my way today. I find it really easy for me to overlook the good stuff sometimes. Too pessimistic/anal retentive/high strung?


So the first angelic moment was frm...my badminton kakis! Super 可爱 lor. They decided to surprise me with an early bday celebration during lunch today. The cake was damn nice too :) 谢谢你们！我实在是感动！


And then my dearest girl, Pam. This is a photo of us at the sec sch carnival earlier this yr. Reminiscing our 20 yrs as friends.. and trying to act cute. heh. Takes a person with much patience and love to want to spend almost 2 hrs on the phone convincing me that 好马不吃回头草, and that the best is yet to come. :)

寂寞难挨 ...

寂寞难挨 ...

真的很难想象，小小的一个电子邮件可以害我烦了整整五-六天。为何你要这样折磨我？？

最近工做时一直很难专心，心情低落。

虽然每天至少会有几个好友陪着我聊天，散心，说笑。还会安慰我，鼓励我，劝我不要为了短期的快乐而牺牲自己的终生幸福。。。但我还是有点犹豫不决 -- 连我自己都知道，回到他身边会是个错误。但我还是会怀着那么一点 “也许他知错了，会改过” 的小小希望 =_=

哎。。。我到底在骗谁呢？

B asked me today, "Aside frm all the externalities like marriage and kids etc.. what do u think u really need in a r/s?"

And I think the most fundamental need is stability. Someone who can give me a sense of security. Someone I can count on to always be there , to take care of me. Just because I can be self sufficient doesn't mean I don't need to be taken care of.

I think that was always lacking. Amidst all the passion, spontaneity and excitement..I was always worried that it would disappear someday. Running off together with the insatiable need for something different, something new...and the partying. And it did disappear. Twice (shame on me for allowing that, really). Taking my self confidence along with it.

It all boils down to differences in personality. And I believe that's not something that can be changed.


You're right to say that talk is cheap. What could you possibly promise me and subsequently fulfill? We're just two different people, at two different stages of our lives. If it really is meant to be, the future will happen. But at this point, the now still has to be lived. We're not living in a fairy tale world. Please be considerate and just leave me alone.

我要狠!!!

Don't mind me. 自言自语罢了.

Ok...as promised, am gonna upload some of the photos taken over the past week..before the next happening weekend!! Haha yeah right. Have planned for the weekend to be more rest-full.

So last last sat.. had ktv with the "Teo Heng" group. Call them tt cos we keep going to Teo Heng which is damn cheap and gd! And I was just reminiscing that the first time we did the ktv thing was abt 1 yr ago, in celebration of my bday. Now its been almost 1 year already.. and my bday is coming again! But we're no longer in the same office :( Ok so back to the pgm.. after ktv we went for 鸡饭, then had this snow ice thing at 32 deg fahrenheit in marine parade, which was really gd! I love the yakult flavoured base! :) Then we went to play arcade (woohoo!), then went to watch Where Got Ghost. Much much fun and laughter. I am how lucky to have pple who dun mind doing all the things I like?? Major happiness sia.


Then last sat went for this Shiseido makeup workshop. Not tt I've got the bloody time and energy to start putting stuff on my face everyday. But as I've said.. just cos u know how to drive doesn't mean u have to drive everyday right. Just learn a skill la. And for the time being, 学会怎么做女人. Heh. Tts me with Freda. They gave us this hair band thing which is damn gd btw. As usual wif my lousy camera.. the pics not really sharp one :( But i was quite proud of myself for not messing up my face too much (even before they came to help balance it out!) ;p

And now.. the last few pics were frm a (groupie) session at Timbre@Artshouse. Haha. Ok la... biggest groupie is me. I heart Sara!!! Second biggest groupie is Meng. Heh. It was a great night. Managed to get there not too late, altho we cldn't get a table close enuff.. but the beer was super cold and the company was fun. Most of u know tt I'm generally quite anti social.. but the mix of both groups were quite pleasant really, which surprised me. Maybe it's the fact tt pple made the effort to talk abt interesting stuff. Not the mindless bullshit u try to scream abv the racket at clubs. The lighting was not condusive for photos, but the second one (with stamford raffles coming out of our heads) was really quite nice leh. so i decided to incl it. :D

And last but not least. A pic of Pam and I. Was just musing on how long we've known each other (20 yrs!!) and for some strange reason, over the last few years, we've started looking more and more like each other. So much so tt whenever we go for facials or shopping etc.. we keep getting asked whether the other is a sibling. I think it's a case of having known each other for too long. :p And I really can't dispute the fact tt she's chio lor. hahahaha

I love you.. for sentimental reasons..

I love you.. for sentimental reasons..

Re-writing / Letting go of 5 (actually more like 8) years of memories is no mean feat. It’s almost like cutting out a huge chunk of your life. Not possible to erase I think. Can only attempt to bury it away in the deep recesses of my subconscious till its retrieval no longer hurts.

Anger is always the most immediate reaction tt surfaces after such loss. U wonder if all tt time together was just a waste, now that it has come to naught. But the other day, while reflecting on the past 5 years, I said something to a friend. The words only struck me when they actually rolled off my tongue.

"If I could go back in time, I'd still have chosen to go through the whole thing again."

Perhaps I'd have left a little earlier, instead of later. But those years had their wonderful moments. There was much joy, wonder and excitement. Even though there was also pain and a lot of frustration. Learnt much about friendship, love and most importantly, about myself.

I guess it's just one of those things we go through in life. Like a rite of passage. This thing about memories and love remind me of the movie Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Thought I'd actually mused abt this before...but can't seem to find the post which I'd written years ago. This movie was also significant to the beginnings of the relationship.

Anyway. It's late... and I'm just rambling. Off to bed. Shall try to post a few happy pics the next round.. of the dear pple who've been my source of comfort over the past few weeks. All the angels in disguise :)