Having essays to do just make you come online more often, waste more time doing what you're not supposed to and then feeling damn guilty and gan cheong that the work you're supposed to be doing is not getting done and the deadline looms nearer. :/

And now perhaps i 'suffer' the consequences.

Haiz.... 2 essays due on monday...actually one just got extended but then no point cos i have another essay due on the extended date.

Anyways.... so in surfing uselessly cos of the inertia to begin on my essay(s) I chanced upon an old...(perhaps now somewhat revived?) blog. Brought back a whole flood of memories....of abt 1 and a half years ago? The thing about memory....is that it's never the same twice, everytime you retrieve a memory, your mind modifies it. Sometimes you're able to 'block out the trauma', or just not remember the things that affect you, or 'forget' the things you'd rather not remember. Know the phrase, 'rose tinted lenses'? Think I tend to do tt, remember certain things thru such rose tinted lenses. Blogs on the other hand, are like diaries....they record events, no matter how subjectively, but they aid your memory.

It's a bittersweet feeling, to be revisiting those times again... u can't block it out of your head and kinda fool yourself and say that "it never really happened" just because they conjure up certain emotions within u... and yet you cannot deny the beauty, or the joy that the writer once felt, and appreciate that, or even remember how you were kinda glad....(or subconsciously disturbed) when you first read it. Oh dear, I'm doing an irritatingly academic way of writing long stupid sentences which make pple forget the beginning of it before I even come to the end.

Comparisons between relationships...can be bad. Jealousy (tt which I have always felt is an inefficient and really quite a stupid thing) has somewhat visited me in the last few moments. Strange, coming from a person who seldom or almost never used to feel it.

Aiya, ok enough of this rambling.... I have wasted far too much thinking on this, and the essay(s) are waiting.

The sem's almost over.... :/

And papers are due. :/

Everyone's having that rising surge of panic and/or depression coming from within them cos there's just not enough time to finish the work. Lecturers just seem to think that we only have their modules and their papers to do.

Haiz! Let's just see how I will turn out at the end of the non-stop (MTV haha) hits of essays that I will be kena-ing all the way until my theatre practical exam on the 13th. Which btw, is also the day my confirmation camp starts....and also abt 1 and a half weeks before my first exam paper. -_- Swell. Maybe I'll just become pimple monster who is too deprived of sleep and entertainment.

Oh well, here are a few quotes....once again courtesy of Jonathan Lim.

This made me laugh...as I was reminded of a certain person...and a certain time when this was one of the things that particularly bothered me.

"A professional is a person who can do his best at a time when he doesn't particularly feel like it." -- Alistair Cooke


"In Italy for thirty years under the Borgias they had warfare, terror, murder and bloodshed but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci and the Renaissance. In Switzerland, they had brotherly love; they had five hundred years of democracy and peace and what did they produce? The cuckoo clock." -- Orson Welles (1915-1985)

And one that speaks of life....and how we could look at it....and just simply...live it.

"Never rail at the world, it is just as we make it,
We see not the flower if we sow not the seed;
And as for ill-luck, why, it's just as we take it,
The heart that's in earnest no bars can impede."
-- Charles Swain

Damn sian. So much work to do!! I don't even dare to properly count the essays that I have to do and check out my deadlines! Aargh!!

And now I'm just procrastinating cos there's a report waiting to be completed and I'm not even halfway through yet.

Well, I guess at least I had enough sleep last night....kinda. (Sleep is never enough for me) So dunno if tonight I'll be able to finish all I need to do for tmw's class or not. Tuesdays are always killer days cos the night before I end at 7 and i start class at 9am. Super sian.....plus the chao ang moh always talks so much and is so anal tt I get v stressed. :(

Just had a 2 and a half hr long lec. With no break! Tmd....this stupid pop culture class has students who enjoy presenting on their topic so much tt they always drag until damn long! Today's freaking presentation was like 2hrs and 15 mins long!! Morons! Even if they don't need a break, we do! Tsk! Aiya, I suppose none of their presentations could beat my group's one cos apparently jang jang (the name i coined for my lect cos tts wat he always says when talking...he's really quite entertaining) liked ours so much (we did ours last week) tt he kept praising it! And today's format followed ours quite a bit...but I felt they didn't really argue their point. cheh...blind copying...in the end still one of those lousy ones which dragged so long!! Until I could barely meet my poor dear who was not feeling too gd cos he didn't have enough sleep last night. -_-

Spent most of the weekend in church, cos I was scheduled to cantor for 3 masses....one on sat and 2 on sun...then had catechist mtg... By the time I was doing the 3rd mass, both Fr Luke and Fr Greg were like, "wah! so many masses this weekend ah?" Haha....felt almost like a priest, celebrating so many masses a weekend! heh...gd for me cos then I only hafta worry abt learning one psalm and I kinda get some 'practice' by going up a few times. It was good to spend time with Shane too who was so patient as to wait for me and be with me in between my masses. Had this craving for Mac's....so we had tt for lunch, dunno y also. Must be cos my body so deprived of fried food since I was knocked out my some sorta food poisoning during the week and also cos I had to preserve my voice tt I've been craving fried food ever since!!

Was so exhausted by the time I reached home...managed to take a short nap and then after dinner went over to my dear's place cos he was rushing his essay. Sigh...tis not been a very good time for us cos there's just so little time for us to spend together without doing work or something. But it was gd still, that I got some work done... and got to see him and spend some time with him. Tis really rather frustrating since previously we had the luxury of time, of going out, doing things...cooking etc. These few days I'm just so tired or so bogged down by work that there's hardly enough energy for much else.

I miss you dear, even though I see you everyday :/

I know, I'm not being fair to those who can't even meet everyday...and I guess I am already very very lucky that we live so near each other. But I just had to whine la. :(

Interesting shots...which I've finally uploaded into my com.

Oh FUCK! I've just gone and done it again.

I hate school, hate having deadlines and hate being tired.

Oh God! What is it You want with me???

It's that time of the sem again, when essays, presentations and projects are due or are in full swing. And it gets more and more difficult to remember to pray, to thank God and talk to Him.

But mass was good today, cos I was able to pay attention... and was reminded of how often we forget about God and the gift of life when things get stressful and there are so many other things that seem to be more important to remember, to do.

It's all about managing time, having that balance and maintaining discipline...and of cos the grace of God to help us through with all this. Guess I'm thankful for the opportunity to learn so much, although it is most difficult for me...to think so often, and so much about so many things. But I guess He's trying to make me a better person, for the future.

Other thoughts.... in Weekend Today, I was reading about teenage abortions and how there were girls as young as 12 going for abortions...and how "sex with a girl aged under 16 constitutes statutory rape, and yet when she gets pregnant and seeks and abortion, there is no need for parental consent, let alone a police report". Oh my. So there are cases where girls as young as 12 go for abortions. And no one knows. :\ Very disturbing man, u all shld go read the article.

Now back to my essay... so much to do, so little time!

Been thinking a lot the past few days...perhaps not really consciously at times....and cld've been brought on by the amt of work I have to complete by next week.

I suppose also cos I've been watching quite a few movies....and went to watch Mamma Mia too...as I was so kindly invited by his father. Went yesterday, with his parents and uncle and bro....had a very nice night actually altho I was really quite exhausted from the lack of sleep for the past 2 days. Went for drinks after tt and realised tt my dear does share similar mannerisms with his bro. So cute!! :p I guess Mamma Mia wasn't something tt I'd pay that much to watch, i suppose cos I'm not exactly an ABBA fan. But for those who are.....it'd be a damn gd experience! Plot was quite so-so only tho...but then I got to see all the things we analysed about during pop culture class so it was quite interesting.

The sets were really lovely though....such efficient use of 2 main structures! And of cos I got to see his parents (more his mom actually) all hyped up about the songs...heard them both singing along when the songs came on. And yeah...the songs are damn catchy...so it's been playing in my head all day today. It's gd for a laugh and something lighthearted but don't go expecting Les Mis or Phantom. The singing was ok only cos I suppose ABBA songs aren't exactly the best for showcasing technique. :)

Then had to watch a Hindi movie....that was 2 hrs long called Kuch Kuch Hota Hai cos I'm doing a presentation on it next week. Very enjoyable cos it's rather unlike the usual Hindi movies(not tt I actually watch that many) and so it had less melodrama than usual and the songs and of cos the love story which I can somewhat relate to as being mine.....heh. Oh, and it's apparently the film which shoved Shah Rukh Khan into the limelight but then...I don't think there's anything so great abt him leh. He's like not v handsome or wat.....compared to the 2 female leads he's boring looking! They're so chio lor! So anyway, the problem is tt there are so many issues which it seems to deal with so currently my brain is chock full of ideas and issues which I have to organise and put tog for my presentation.... when all I wanna do is just enjoy the show and banghra together with them!!!!!! Oops...did i just say tt? hahaha....but really la, watching too many musical/dancy type shows will make u just feel like dancing tog wif them!

Watched New Police Story with Shane over the weekend....and it was interesting. Cos twas another one of those films trying to do sthg new and break out of the usual conventions they have been using. Had quite a nice time discussing it with my dear....another one of our "intellectual conversations" which I quite enjoyed! The only thing was tt it was rather 'traumatic' cos of certain rather violent and painful scenes so a little un-romantic in celebration of our anniversary...but ok la, I did have a gd time. And it's fun to think abt movies once in a while. :)

Oh, went to visit the Changi Chapel and Museum also....pretty interesting and the place was quite beautiful....but then the whole WWII thing is not exactly something which I like to think abt... so was supposed to do this in line with the theme of 'trauma tourism' for one of my modules. Sounds pretty interesting...will write more abt it when I have more thoughts.

Yup....so, it has been a whole 4 days of thinking. My brain is tired!!!

Ok, it's been a rather busy two weeks...so the news is a bit outdated and so are the pics...but they were extremely lovely memories, so I'm putting them up anyway.

My b'day celebrations.... went to eat with my parents the night before at Doc Cheng's... fusion food in raffles hotel...ate far too much (more photos are on my webshots page) had a lot a lot of chocolate, which prob wasn't too beneficial to the facial tt i did before dinner. So below is a rather nice shot of me and my parents, taken in funky sepia!


and then Shane and Jo conspired to surprise me at abt midnight....tt was rather quite hilarious cos Jo hid behind my gate and I nearly saw...and then she thought she forgot to bring the lighter so didn't light the cake..but then she realised after tt. Hmm....and the 4 ex-cglcs got me a tube, which is a bit too tight...which means I have to lose weight!!


my b'day surprise! A close up shot of the 2 sweet conspirators!

And then there was Ivan's wedding last week - which was the sweetest thing ever! Made me extremely stressed about what to wear too.....and Shane was a bit nervous abt being the MC... but I think he did a gd job! And of cos looked extremely dashing in his suit and new blue-(ish) shirt which I helped him to pick. (although he might argue wif me abt looking gd, I'm very sure he caught some people/person's eye whenever he walked past! now you can't argue wif me about tt dear! :p)


Shane and me at Ivan's wedding dinner. Can't imagine how long it took me to choose this stupid outfit taking into consideration pantang and dressing up and all tt nonsense....thank goodness no one else's getting married anytime soon!


Here's a pic of Jo and me unconsciously doing the same pose as we sat at the dinner table. So cute right?! haha...ok no more photos....

Had the yearly mooncake tasting thing with my relatives at my place yesterday night....I think it's really cool how my mom manages to organise all these gatherings... like getting my relatives to buy mooncakes frm diff places so we can try out everything...ate a lot again...but it was fun...talking a bit to my cousin whom I haven't really spoken much to in a while.

Yup....the next 2 weeks will be quite terrrible cos I've got all the deadlines due for essays and presentations soon!!! aaargh...stress.... I think lotsa pple are having lotsa deadlines due soon too.... God Bless to all!!

No time no time!!!

Haven't been blogging very recently cos no time!

Gonna haf dinner in a bit....and missing my dear.

Sigh. Photos will be up when i have the time.