Waking Up My Idea

Waking Up My Idea

Memories are such powerful things. They can feel so real, and sometimes trick you into thinking that its part of reality. Or maybe, just cos it feels so real...u just cling onto it for dear life, in the hope that it will eventually become a reality.

And that's one of the reasons why it's so hard to let go. First of all realising that you're semi-delusional is already =_=. 自己骗自己...or, as sometimes we like to think, "他妈的!给别人骗了". But I think, it could also be true that 自己也情愿给他骗.

So... it's been ktv season recently.. and while I have been trying to avoid the overly emo songs... singing them at the top of my lungs can actually be quite cathartic. Here's one that I rediscovered by A-mei. Realised her early songs are all super emo one. Suits me just fine I guess. Heh.

It's emo time...

It's emo time...

As usual, considerate me is going to add a disclaimer, that the next few posts are gonna be rather... emo kind la. So duh, u can guess what's happening in my life now. Buzz off, if you'd rather just read happy stuff. (Altho if u need a laugh.. some of you might just find this funny. Hmm.. )


if u thought you could, 3 years ago and now you still don't know, u never
will.

in relationships, people make sacrifices, and i think I've given enough.
I've had enough.

i still stand by my belief that I always knew u were a selfish bastard. I
just refused to listen, that's all.

More epiphanies to come..woohoo

HP Blues...

HP Blues...

Been looking out for a new phone to buy since my current panasonic (prob the only one left using this brand too) is almost 4 yrs old.. and the batt is likely to die out in a few mths - already changed twice!

So anyway. Only used 2 phones in my entire life... and both were by Panasonic. And i quite like their designs/features etc. But I found out last yr tt they're no longer selling panasonic phones in S'pore cos the market ain't big enuff. As it turns out, I don't think they're selling it anywhere else except in Japan! (cos they only appear on the Jap website) So tempted to ask my fren to buy for me when she goes there later this year! But not sure whether they can be used in S'pore or not... and whether it's really as chio as it is in the pic.


Ok, maybe this pic not so nice. How abt this one?



It's supposed to be only 9.8mm.. which makes it super slim, but not sure whether flimsy or what. Sigh. There are so many others which look v chio leh. Gaah! I want a Panasonic phone!!

Was looking on the Singtel website for other chio phones also. Refuse to get the iphone cos it's nabeh expensive, even for the old one. Phones nowadays so complicated, all the apps and all - which is quite a contradiction for me la.. cos I'd really just be happy with a phone tt cld call, sms and take photo. Enuff liao. but then nowadays cos all those dunno what apps and stuff.. so I also feel like jumping on the bandwagon of getting one with all the features. But then... it's not like I am intending to get a data plan. =_= Super 矛盾 can!

Catch 22

Catch 22

Yup, tis one of those damned days again.. where my temper is worse than usual.

Been thinking... about how much I've learnt over the past few years since I started working. Intellect-wise, People management-wise. What I've not learnt though.. is my own anger management I think. In fact, it seems to have gotten worse. Combination of stress and high expectations - of my work, myself, my life.

I am proud of the things I've achieved... perhaps yearning for things to be so much more... trying to push myself to greater heights. This "confidence" that I can do more has been a rather recent cultivation. Maybe.. within the last 5-8 years? And therein lies the catch. I've found, the more I achieve, the more confident I become, the higher my expectations of every damned thing (incl myself). So then I end up trying to achieve more, and sometimes succeeding, then the whole cycle starts again.

This creates a rather stressed out human being. And then stressing others around me. Recent blood pressure readings showed an alarming (according to the doc) figure, that "is way too high for your age". Am still trying to determine the cause - i.e. too much salty food, lack of exercise... or just too high-strung ==> which my parents suspect to be the main contributor.

But how to relac jack leh? I've just moved to a new division, there are like thousand and 1 new things to learn. My learning curve is like... at a 90 degree angle.... and I have to juggle so many other things on top of the extra hrs clocked for work. Only 24 hrs in a day, and 1 aunty leh. :S

ANYWAY.

Friend recommended this interesting blog. Think u shld go and have a look at it. Tis rather unbelievable tt someone with a Stanford PHD cannot get a job?! But then again, this person could also be an academic/student doing a project, and fooling us all. In any case, nice for entertainment la.

Hope your week is going better than mine. :)

If I could access facebook now, my status would read,

"Not a very good sign for the start of something I already worry about"