NNH!!! I feel quite F***ed up. Just needed to vent.

This whole rostering of cantors and shit is driving me up the wall. Things are somehow just getting messed up....and initially I thought maybe it's all their fault cos they were the ones who were irresponsible and never turn up for their slot even though it's their choir and they're so much older and supposedly more responsible. So was getting all worked up and shit....and things got quite unpleasant cos the priest got pissed off tt there was no cantor, and there were apologies and all flying ard...but just right now everyone is quite unhappy.

Then I just received some email asking abt the roster for this mth(which was already sent out...so I dunno y tt person didn't receive). Then I get a call frm another one informing me now tt apparently I rostered wrongly. As in, i cfmed a date wif him but then rostered him for another date. So he's of cos like irritated tt how come i do this kinda stupid thing la. And I cldn't believe tt i did sthg like tt....and tried to see if tt was really the case....tried to argue la, but of cos wif no evidence since it was so long ago. And then he fwded me the sms tt I sent to him and it was really me who messed up. Luckily no big consequence yet la since its this month and hasn't come yet...but twas another time bomb waiting to explode la. So I feel quite the cock. And quite F***ed up. So ya....i shldn't be so adamant and angry with them cos idiots like me are likely to screw up too right.

So now I have to swallow my pride and continue serving amidst all this paiseh-ness and church politics and unhappiness. Feels quite like shit, but I guess I've to get over myself.

The exams are over! Why still so sianz!! It's been a sem of many happenings....in general, I'm happy...but then, there are things like my hons and stress and all these funny things abt service which are just making things sian 1/2!! Life is all abt choices....and I wonder if I keep making the wrong ones.

(P/s *for my baby's benefit: But I'm sure the one right choice I made was to end up with you dear. And I'm very sure abt that :) VERY)

And there were actually many happy things tt happened yesterday...but I no mood to blog abt em now la cos need to go off to church to sing in a while...and even for tt I no mood leh. Haiz.